Preparing for Zombie Apocalypse –– What Foods to Stock Up On?

by [email protected]

 

I mean, if you are like me and a lot of people out there, then we have all wondered at least once about the foods to stock up on in case of a zombie apocalypse. It would have been better if we could also have a bunker to go with it when those brain eaters are swarming the streets, but we all know that with the current recession, it’s hard to even afford university –– let alone a bunker.

 

 

zombie gifs

 

So obviously, we’ll all settle for the next best thing : FOOD.

And if you’re anything like child me who have watched Zombieland and have ever since thought that Twinkies are the holy grail and starter pack for an apocalypse, unfortunately for us folks, Twinkies don’t last all that long at all. The maximum shelf life was reported to have been 26 days, until the addition of stronger preservatives made beginning in 2012 increased it to 45 days

Now that we’ve debunked the truth behind Twinkies and zombie apocalypse foods –– and also now that we’ve started to question every single thing in our lives –– let’s get into the foods that you really need to stock up on in case of a zombie apocalypse. And of course, they need to last longer that 45 days. 

 

zombie apocalypse foods

 

1. Rice 

 

You all know my asian ass can’t live without no rice. I mean, i tried doing keto for a few months and in that period of time i kept giving my rice container longing stares and cuddle it to sleep every night. Not to mention, regular white rice or minute rice will last up to five years, but uncooked white rice in an oxygen-free container will last between 25 and 30 years. 

Rice also happens to be one of the most important staple food for a lot of people, providing more than 1/5 of the calories consumed worldwide. 

 

long shelf life foods

 

2. Peanut Butter 

 

We’ve all heard of the infamous : Peanut butter and Jelly. Little did we know, this gooey and delicious little thing can last up to 5 years. What’s even better, it doesn’t even need to be refrigerated! With high amounts of Vit. E, it helps stave off oxidation and prolongs PB’s shelf.

However, peanut butter’s dryness doesn’t guarantee immortality. In fact, the high fat content leaves PB vulnerable to a different type of food spoilage called rancidification. Rancidification is a chemical process in which oxygen breaks down the peanut butter and changes the flavor and odor of food in rather unappetizing ways. Health-wise, however, rancid peanut butter is not something to really worry about. It will not have any effects health-wise, it will just not taste as good. 

 

long shelf life foods

 

3. Pasta 

 

Ah, an all time favorite. 

In the same vein as rice, pasta is also a good thing to stock up on as it lasts for 1-2 years beyond their “best by” date. And if you’re anything like me and already in their survival mode, you must already wondered : Is it okay to eat raw, uncooked pasta? 

I mean, when the desperation is real and it’s between life or death, we all gotta do what we gotta do, you know?

And to answer that question, yes and no. In small portions, for example as a crispy snack, it won’t be a problem. However, if you start consuming it as your daily meals, it definitely will not be good for your body. Raw pasta contains lectins and phytates which will cause inflamation and damage your lower GI track. Another danger commonly associated with uncooked pasta is salmonella poisoning, as many pastas like egg noodles are made with raw egg.

 

long shelf life foods

 

4. Canned Foods –– Veggies, Soups and Meats 

 

This is a no-brained and quite possibly is the first thing that most people will think about stocking up on when it comes to zombie apocalypses. And they’re not wrong. While they can’t last for generations like most of us come to believe, they do last for quite a few years. 

High-acid canned good –– tomatoes and citrus fruits –– will last up to one and a half years. While low-acid canned goods –– vegetables, meat, fish –– will last up to 5 years. Canned foods are sterile, so they won’t host bacteria. However eventually, the taste and texture of the foods inside will deteriorate. Despite it being rare to have a bacteria contaminated canned goods, you should probably throw any cans that are bulging and/or those cans that leak or spurt liquid when opened. 

 

zombie apocalypse foods

 

5. Dried Beans 

 

This might not be everyone’s favorite, but when it comes to life and death, we eat what we have to to stay alive. Do we not? 

Dried beans and lentils can last indefinitely and canned beans can last years if stored in a cool, dry place. Even with scientific studies, the vitamin losses in dried beans during prolonged storage could not be found. The loss of nutrients will usually follow the similar patterns of long term stored foods where the vitamins will degrade after 2-3 years and no more nutritional value after 5 years. Other nutritional components like proteins, carbohydrates and minerals however, should remain unchanged. 

 

zombie apocalypse foods

 

6. Oats 

 

Oatmeal is the most popular hot cereal, but it can also be used in many other recipes. It is both high in fiber and carbohydrates while low in fat which makes it a great nutritional choice. While oats may not last forever, the usual instant oat meals that most of us bought could last up to 2 years, while the 1 minute oat meal can last up to 3 years.  

Did you also know, what raw oats are totally safe to eat? The only issue with eating it raw –– cornflakes or adding it in shakes –– is that they contain phytic acid and will prevent our bodies from being able to absorb them fully. Soaking oats, as people do when they make overnight oats — oats soaked in a mix of milk and fruit — can help decrease the amount of phytate and keep more of the minerals available for absorption.

 

zombie apocalypse foods

 

7. Cereals 

 

In the topic of oats, cereals are also another food that is good to stock up on. While it doesn’t last as long as oats do, most cereals do last 6-8 months past its best before date. Some argued that it can even last longer than that when stored properly. 

While most of us have the idea that cereals can last indefinitely and are safe to eat whenever, rancidity can also happen in cereal. Cereals –– along with nuts –– with more fat are more prone to rancidity. To tell if the nuts or cereals have become rancid, you can see if they have a grassy or paint like odor, or if they have a dark or oily appearance. With that said however, as mentioned earlier, there are no health risks for eating rancid foods. The most that will happen is an unpleasant taste that will accompany the food. 

 

zombie apocalypse foods

 

8. Energy Bars

 

Honestly, when it comes to foods to stock up on apocalypse, energy bars might just be the best thing that one can stock up on. Not only that it can provide you with energy quickly, they also travel well. Energy bars generally don’t go bad, however it will change in texture overtime as it will lose moisture and harden. 

 

zombie apocalypse foods

 

9. Dehydrated Meats

 

This is the surefire way to get your proteins in if you have limited access to foods. Dehydrated meat is advised to be consumed within two to three months of its preparation, storing it in the refrigerator can also ensure its freshness and prevent spoilage. 

Unlike a lot of the foods that have been mentioned above, dehydrated meats only last as long as 6 months after its preparation if its properly stored in the freezer. 

 

 

zombie apocalypse foods

 

10. Honey/Maple Syrup 

 

Honey is known to be one of the only foods that can last forever. This is largely due to the fact that it is made up of sugar, which makes it hard for bacteria or microorganisms to affect the honey. The expiration date of honey that we usually see, refers to when it will start crystallizing. Which is a regular process of honey that doesn’t make it inedible. You can make the crystals return to their former state by heating up the honey.

Not to mention, you can also use honey for its medicinal purposes. Honey is used for cough, diabetes, high levels of cholesterol, painful periods, asthma, and hay fever. It can also be used for diarrhea, ulcers in the mouth caused by cancer treatment, and stomach ulcers caused by infection with Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori) bacteria. Honey is also used as a source of energy during vigorous exercise or in people who are malnourished. It may also be used orally for wound healing and pain following the removal of tonsils.

 

zombie apocalypse foods

 

11. Alcohol 

 

Now we’re talking. 

The base liquors such as brandy, gin, rum and vodka are typically the most stable distilled spirits because they do not contain sugars. These bottles can last indefinitely if they’re unopened and properly stored. Just be careful about direct heat or sunlight, and any beverages that have added ingredients like flavoring and liquors that contain dairy and cream.

Truthfully, other than its uses for a respite against the bleak reality, in a zombie apocalypse alcohol can also be highly valuable for medicinal purposes, for example to disinfect wounds and also as a trade item. 

 

 

If worse comes to worst, i’ll just leave you with a tip before i go. Remember, the ones who eat the foods can also be food. 

 

 

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